I always thought that in sports, there were two kinds of celebrations. There are the ones you think about ahead of time, and there are the more spur-of-the-moment ones.
But, a minor league pitcher has taught me that there’s another kind of celebration: the kind that is spur of the moment, but you probably should’ve thought about it ahead of time.
Especially when there are kids in the crowd… or people who just don’t want to see some guy hump turf.
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The Iowa Cubs — no prizes for guessing who they’re the Triple-A affiliate of — hosted the Cleveland Guardians-afiflated Columbus Clippers on Thursday, and during the game, things got, uh… interesting.
Cubs infielder Owen Miller was at the plate facing Columbus righty Pedro Avila.
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Miller took a swing at a 1-2 pitch and sent a low, soft line drive just to Avila’s left, with the pitcher making an impressive grab.
It was a nice play and the third out of the inning, so how to celebrate?
Well, Avila had an idea…
Jeez. Throw on a little Barry White and get that turf a cigarette after that.
I mean, you always want to have a guy on your team who loves the sport, but maybe not quite like that.
Quietly, the best part was that the announcer said Avila was “entertaining the children in attendance with some gyrations.”
Because that’s what kids are big on. Gyrations.

But even the Columbus Clippers’ social media was at a loss for words after that one.
You probably saw that in that post on X, the Iowa Cubs asked “y’all good?” after that celly.
Well, they’re not even sure if they are.
It was a wild moment, and I’m pretty sure it’s not one that Avila’s Columbus Clippers teammates will let him live down anytime soon.
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