Always running late? The real cost to your relationships may surprise you

Chronic lateness is known to be a common annoyance, often leading to strain within relationships, experts have confirmed.

And for some people who struggle to be on time, the reasons may go far beyond poor planning.

Psychotherapist and author Jonathan Alpert told Fox News Digital that chronic lateness often stems from a combination of psychological patterns and neurobiological factors that people may not realize are influencing them.

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“For some people, it’s personality-driven. They’re distractible, optimistic about how long things take, or simply not tuned into the impact on others,” the New York-based expert said.

For others, the issue stems from neurobiological differences that affect how the brain manages time.

That can make it harder to estimate how long tasks take or to transition from one activity to the next, leading to chronic lateness, according to Alpert.

Impact on relationships

In addition to disrupting schedules, chronic lateness may also strain relationships and create tension.

“Lateness erodes trust. Over time, it sends the message that someone else’s time is less important, even if that’s not the intent,” Alpert noted.

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Lateness can also become an issue in the workplace, where repeated delays can undermine teamwork and harm a person’s reputation.

These patterns are common among people with ADHD, who often experience what is known as “time blindness,” making it difficult to recognize how quickly minutes pass or how long tasks truly take.

“Adding 10 to 15 minutes of buffer between activities reduces the frantic rushing that leads to chronic lateness.”

ADHD is strongly associated with executive-function difficulties, which are the skills needed to stay organized, plan ahead and focus on essential details, according to the Attention Deficit Disorder Association. 

When these abilities are weaker, it becomes more challenging to gauge time, follow a schedule and meet deadlines, which can impact personal and professional relationships, experts agree.

Underlying patterns

Anxiety, avoidance and perfectionism are patterns that Alpert most often sees in people who tend to run late, he noted.

“Many chronically late individuals don’t intend to be disrespectful. They’re overwhelmed, anxious or trying to squeeze too much into too little time,” he said.

These emotional patterns often show up in different ways. For some, anxiety can make it difficult to begin even simple tasks, pushing everything behind schedule before the day has even started, according to Alpert.

For others, the struggle happens in the in-between moments. Shifting from one activity to another can feel surprisingly uncomfortable, so they linger longer than intended and lose time without noticing.

Others may get caught up in the details, as perfectionism keeps them adjusting or “fixing one more thing” as the minutes slip away, Alpert said.

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Another major factor, the expert shared, is that many people simply misjudge how long tasks take. Their internal sense of time is often inaccurate, which leads them to assume they can fit far more into a day than is realistically possible.

‘Time audit’

Alpert often recommends that his clients perform a simple “time audit,” where they track how long they think a routine task will take and then time it in real life. This can help them rebuild a more accurate internal clock, he said.

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“Adding 10 to 15 minutes of buffer between activities reduces the frantic rushing that leads to chronic lateness,” he said.

Despite the challenges lateness can create, Alpert said people don’t have to be stuck with these habits forever. With the right support and consistent strategies, meaningful change is possible.

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“Strong routines, alarms, checklists and accurate time estimates compensate for traits that don’t naturally disappear,” he added.

People who find that lateness is affecting their everyday life and relationships may benefit from discussing their concerns with a healthcare provider or mental health professional.