Thousands of people have reacted to a man’s story posted on social media as he asked for insights about how to solve a personal family drama.
The man, 32 years old, said he has an older sister “who has always wanted to be a mother, but she hasn’t been able to find the right partner,” the man wrote on the Reddit page known as AITA (“Am I the a–hole”).
“After years of waiting, I suggested she consider IVF treatment. I even helped her research the process and find clinics,” wrote the man, going by the username of “sweet_thingg.”
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“She loved the idea and decided to go ahead with it,” he also told others, according to his post.
He said his sister “had the financial means to afford IVF on her own, but it meant she had to cut back on creature comforts and luxuries for the foreseeable future.”
Then, he said, “after her fourth round of treatment, she got pregnant” two months ago.
The man said the entire family “is very happy for her and she’s happy, too. She didn’t expect it to take so many rounds of treatment, though, so the bill ended up higher than she [had been] prepared for,” he wrote.
The mom-to-be asked her family for “help so she wouldn’t have to make even more sacrifices.”
He said that while she “does have enough money to support herself, but not very comfortably,” she still asked the family for “help so she wouldn’t have to make even more sacrifices.”
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Added the man, “Our parents are retired and living on a fixed income, so they can’t contribute much. This leaves me as her main source of potential financial support.”
So, last week, the man wrote, his sister “sat me down and asked me for money.”
He said that he has “no issue with people choosing to be single parents if they can afford it. But I don’t believe it’s fair to ask others to finance such a personal choice,” he noted — “especially when there are significant long-term financial commitments involved.”
The man added, for further context, “I have a wife and a newborn son. While we do have some extra money, we’re using it to keep our own little family comfortable and save for a bigger house.”
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He said they currently “live in a single-bedroom condo.”
“She argued that family is supposed to support each other and that I’m being selfish and judgmental.”
So, all things considered, he said he told his sister he would not be able “to help her foot the bill.”
This apparently did not go over well.
The sister “was heartbroken and furious,” he wrote. “She argued that family is supposed to support each other and that I’m being selfish and judgmental. Our parents are also upset with me, saying that I’m not being a good brother. They think I should help her because she’s family and this is her dream.”
The man added, “They’re especially upset because it was my idea and I helped her research it.”
He said that, to try to help out, he “offered” to have the sister “eat dinner with us nightly since she lives nearby, and [let] her use my car, which is cheaper to run since it’s electric. She said that’s not nearly enough.”
The man said that he has his “own family to think about and financial goals to achieve. I feel it’s unreasonable to put myself in a difficult financial position for something that is [the sister’s] personal choice, even if I initially suggested it.”
“She’s 34 years old! Does she understand what a budget is?”
He asked others if he was wrong for denying his sibling financial support.
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The man added, in an edit to his post, that not only is his sister a homeowner, but that she makes “slightly more money than I do. She can absolutely afford a child.”
He added, in part, “It isn’t like she didn’t budget. She just doesn’t like being frugal. She also did take me up on the offer to temporarily trade cars and eat dinner with my family nightly.”
He continued, “IVF was not my first suggestion. She wouldn’t adopt because she wants a biological child.”
He also said he was “not involved in her treatment or consultation and I don’t agree with her decision. I helped her research [it] because I was trying to be a good brother.”
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Fox News Digital reached out to a psychologist specializing in family issues for thoughts.
In the meantime, nearly 6,000 people have reacted to the drama to date, with over 1,300 comments posted about the situation.
Overall, users on Reddit deemed the man not wrong for his decision and his feelings.
In the top “upvoted” comment, a Reddit user wrote simply about the sister, “She can move in with her parents.”
Wrote another person, “She’s 34 years old! Does she understand what a budget is? Does she have a job that can support two (or more)? A big enough home? Day care and babysitting plans?”
Added this same person, “Sounds like she has about seven months to figure it out. Your parents aren’t in a position to give her money, but what can they do? Child care? Share a home so it’s cheaper for all of them?”
This person finished with — addressing the brother — “You are still working on getting a bedroom for your own child!”
Wrote another commenter, “Huh? She asks for $$$ after she made a huge life choice that she knew would cost her a change in her finances. That’s crazy!!!”
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