NEWYou can now listen to Fox News articles!
More than one-third of Americans report having ended a relationship over political differences, according to recent research – and experts say those divisions may also be straining some marriages.
Some high-profile couples, including Democratic strategist James Carville and his wife, Republican political consultant Mary Matalin, have remained together despite their differing views – but experts say navigating those differences isn’t always easy.
Anna Elton, PhD, a licensed marriage and family therapist and clinical sexologist in Massachusetts, said she has counseled couples on different sides of the political aisle.
‘QUIET QUITTING’ COULD SILENTLY DESTROY YOUR MARRIAGE – 4 WAYS TO BRING THE SPARK BACK
“A lot of couples come in and they want to work on communication, and politics can come up in our sessions,” Elton, author of “The Formula of Desire,” told Fox News Digital.
“I work with a number of couples who are in this place where they have a family, they have kids, but they can’t talk about politics.”
For many singles, Elton said, political compatibility is now something they consider early in the dating process.
WHY COUPLES SHOULD FLIRT WITH EACH OTHER EVERY DAY – PLUS THE ‘RED FLAG’ TO AVOID
She referenced a recent study that found younger adults tend to make assumptions about religion, gender roles, empathy and other characteristics based on political affiliation.
“So, before you get to know the person, you’ve already created this assumption of who this person is.”
“I’ve definitely been hearing from my younger clients who are saying, ‘I want to know which political party this person belongs to, and then I’ll see if I want to even be going on a date and wasting my time with this person.’”
COMMON MARRIAGE HABIT COULD QUIETLY KILL YOUR SEX LIFE, EXPERT WARNS
For couples who have been married for decades, today’s political divisions may present challenges that didn’t exist when their relationships began, Elton noted.
The expert offered the following three tips for navigating politically charged conversations with a partner in a healthy way.
No. 1: Set boundaries ahead of time
Come up with rules for the conversation and set the tone before it starts, Elton suggested, noting that the first three minutes of a discussion typically predict the outcome.
Conversations that begin with a harsh tone or accusatory language are unlikely to be productive, she said. “So, before you talk, say, ‘Okay, these are our boundaries for this conversation.’”
Those boundaries can also extend to media habits, Elton said, including limiting how much political content couples consume, especially on social media.
“You read certain things and then all of a sudden, you keep scrolling on your social media and you see similar content coming up over and over and over again,” Elton said. “And at this point, it creates an illusionary effect.”
HOW OFTEN ARE MARRIED PEOPLE HAVING SEX? WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT THE INTIMACY STANDARD IN AMERICA
Hearing the same information repeatedly may lead people to gradually accept it as true, according to Elton. “Now think about two people who are in their echo chambers, and they’re exposed to certain information that is contradicting each other.”
As a general rule, Elton said couples should be mindful not to spend more time on their phones than they do engaging with each other. Excessive screen time can reduce face-to-face connection, leaving less room for eye contact, conversation and other shared experiences.
Also, when someone is constantly consuming political content, it can become the primary topic they want to discuss, creating tension when partners hold different views, she cautioned.
To help reduce conflict, Elton recommended limiting when political news or posts are consumed. She also suggested setting aside one phone-free date night each week to encourage face-to-face connection.
No. 2: Agree to disagree
While couples with differing political views are unlikely to agree on every issue, “agreeing to disagree” can help prevent hostility.
“We can still love each other,” Elton said. “It’s not going to affect our relationship.”
“As soon as it gets to the point of seeing your partner through the lens of ‘if you believe this, this is who you are, and I can’t believe that I’m still in a relationship with you,’ that becomes a problem.”
Elton urged couples not to take political disagreements personally and instead approach them with curiosity. She also recommended looking at the same information together, allowing each partner to ask questions and draw their own conclusions rather than jumping into a heated debate.
CLICK HERE FOR MORE HEALTH STORIES
The therapist also encouraged couples to focus on areas of common ground rather than viewing disagreements in black-and-white terms.
After a disagreement or failure to compromise, it’s important to always reconnect with your partner, she emphasized.
Sharing reassuring words like “I love you” and “you matter to me more than anything else” can be helpful, she said.
“I feel like you always need to say, ‘Hey, I hear what you’re saying, but I’m not agreeing, and that’s okay.’”
3. Consider the wider impact
When politics come into play in a relationship, it can have an impact on more than just the couple.
CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP FOR OUR HEALTH NEWSLETTER
Elton encouraged partners to consider how sharing certain opinions can impact other loved ones, especially if one person confides in a family member or friend about the other’s views.
“You can create this triangulation where you’re connecting with someone against your partner, and you don’t want that,” she warned.
“Talk to your therapist, vent to your therapist … because if you start venting to your family and friends, then they start forming certain opinions about your partner, and it can affect how they talk to them, how they interact with them.”
Before making any drastic decisions, such as ending a relationship over political discord, Elton suggested slowing down and returning to a more grounded state.
TEST YOURSELF WITH OUR LATEST LIFESTYLE QUIZ
“We hear certain things and we fill in the gaps,” she said. “When we hear someone’s political affiliation, we often make assumptions about who they are without really hearing them out.”
Rather than making assumptions based on the media or podcasts a partner consumes, for example, Elton encouraged couples to ask questions, stay curious and remain open-minded.
Read the full article here